Weird and gross.

A few stories I've been meaning to document, as to not forget the crazy that is our life right now.

The boys have been doing chores since the beginning of the summer.  They include getting dressed, brushing teeth, making their bed, and cleaning up their room.  It takes them long enough to get these things done so I can quickly clean up the breakfast dishes.  The other day, after an abnormally long silence from downstairs, I went down to check on them, and heard lots of laughter from the bathroom.  Micah and Derek were both sitting on the counter in their underwear each holding a tube of toothpaste sucking it right out of the tube.  I thought it was naughty but funny first, but then started thinking about fluoride poisoning, and freaked out just a bit.  I quickly researched and learned that they should drink a glass of milk, and that they'd have to eat 63% of a full tube to be at risk of poisoning.  So they thought it was hilarious that I made them drink a whole glass of milk.

Micah and Derek have been totally encouraging the naughtiness in each other lately.  The other day, I asked all four boys to go potty and wash their hands and come to the table for dinner.  Tyler and Andrew were done, sitting at the table, and Micah and Derek came running into the kitchen with huge smiles on their face, and a very urgent message, "Come quick, mommy!!!  It's raining in the bathroom!!"  This can't be good.  So I went, and they showed me the cloth shower curtain which had two big wet spots low to the ground.  "See mom?!  It's raining, it's raining in here!!!"  They were SO excited and thought this was the best trick ever.  I asked them what it really was, and they admitted after a few tries that it was pee.  They thought it was so funny even while they were cleaning it all up with Lysol wipes.

The next week they did the same thing, except they were in their wet swimming trunks on the driveway.  They ran over to get me and told me it was raining on the driveway, and sure enough there were two little wet spots right where they were standing.  They just peed.  WITHOUT pulling their shorts down.  They once again thought this was hilarious.  I said, "stay right here."  I went and got Evan and told him to teach his boys to control themselves.  Seriously.

We've also had to talk a lot lately about when it is appropriate to use any word that is inappropriate (booty, bum, butt, poop, you get the picture).  There's been a lot of name calling, such as "tooty bum" or "booty bop" etc.  We also like to threaten each other with "I'll poop on your bum" or "I'll put your eyeball on your booty" (that's not a typo....that really happens).  So we've made strict rules that you are only to talk about your booty if you are telling mommy or daddy something about it that is NOT a joke, and we do not talk about our poop.  And while we're on the subject, you do not need to call your brothers in to see your poop every time you go.  And you can flush it even if the whole family has not seen it.  And even if daddy thinks it's even kind of cool, mommy does NOT CARE about the size or shape of it.  And you do not need to fully describe it when you talk about it with your brothers or anyone, for that matter.  And also, WHY ARE YOU EVEN TALKING ABOUT IT??!!  Whew!  I feel much better now.  I'm so overtaken by gross little men.  Seriously.  Good thing they are so cute!  :)